|
To My Favorite Oldest
Son:
Where does a mother begin? You
were my fourth child. By then your oldest sister
was saying not another one.
You came into this world suddenly.
I told the nurses they needed to go ahead and
call the doctor. They examed me and said no there
is plenty of time. They came back a short time
later and again I told them they better go ahead
and call the doctor so once again they did their
examination. This time they said no it's too late.
You were born in the labor room (back then they
had labor rooms and delivery rooms separately).
The nurse delivered you. The nurse said I had
a healthy baby boy. I said no I only had girls.
I made them hold you up so I could see for myself.
From there I spent countless sleepless nights,
not because you did not sleep but because I had
seen a news story on Sudden Infant Death while
I was pregnant and it said it occurred more often
in males than females. I was so afraid that you
would stop breathing. I would sit by your crib
just to watch you breath. We both mad it through.
You were a quiet child. But how
could you have been anything else you had 3 older
noisy sisters. Dottie was seven and soon learned
how to change diapers, Kathleen was 3 and Heather
was just over a year old. Once you learned to
walk, you were their shadow. You followed them
everywhere, especially Heather. People often though
you two were twins. I remember when Heather went
off to kindergarten; you waited by the door until
she got home. It stayed that way throughout school.
You always followed the girls. You were never
real fond of school. Your first day of kindergarten
would set the stage for the next 13 yrs. You came
home sick that 1st day. The second day you tried
again to come home sick but I made you stay. This
would set a pattern for all of your school years.
The school nurse knew you so well. She would call
me and say he's really sick this time and you
would walk home and call me when you got there.
I remember one time you were sick and you said
you did feel like going to school. I was off that
day and apparently you felt better that afternoon
so you and I looked up words in the dictionary.
You learned to spell ubiquitous and you learned
the meaning. You did not stay home sick from school
for a long time. We laughed about that for years.
Your teachers loved you. You smiled
all the time and you were happy. I expressed concern
to your grade school counselor that your grades
were not as good as your sisters. I was told not
to compare you to your sisters. They said you
were different but you would do well and you did.
You graduated Honor Graduate, National Honor Society,
Boy's State Delegate.
You loved being a Boys State Delegate.
You called me everyday and begged me to come and
get you. I'd tell you to give it one more day
and call me tomorrow if it wasn't any better.
You did and I told you the same thing the next
day. You out smarted me though, you called Kathleen,
who was going to school in Terre Haute and she
picked you up early.
At the young age of 5 you decided
you wanted to play sports. I signed you up for
T-ball. After the 1st practice you wanted to quit.
I told you no, you do not just quit you had to
finish what you started. A lesson you carried
with you through out your life.
You didn't play many sports until high school.
You followed your sisters and ran cross-country
and track. You loved both sports and you loved
Coach Kingery. You especially loved the fall practices
when Coach would have homegrown watermelons waiting
for everyone after your runs. You did well in
both sports. You made it to regionals in track
along with our brother on the relay team. You
qualified for regional in cross-country. Your
senior year, on the day of your regional meet,
your sister went into labor. I took her to the
hospital and the nurses told me she was in early
states of labor. I sat with her until it was time
for your meet. I was assured the baby would still
be awhile. I hurried to your meet and watched
you run. I gave you a hug and congratulated you
and hurried back to the hospital. Your niece Kelly
had already been born.
You spent many hours at track
practice. You loved running and high jump. I loved
to watch you jump. You decided you wanted to follow
Coach K into coaching so after graduation; you
coached the middle school cross-country team for
a year.
You seemed to grow up so fast.
You were always concerned with pleasing everyone,
especially me. You tried your best to protect
me and keep me from worrying. You applied and
were accepted at Auburn University. They did not
have any dorm. Rooms available. I would not let
you live in an apartment so you did not go. May
be I should have.
One day you asked me what I would
do if you got a tattoo. I told you I would kick
you out of the house. I never thought much else
about it. One day you were asleep on the couch
and your t-shirt had slipped up. There staring
at me was a tiger on your arm. You woke up and
saw me standing there and you covered it up. I
never said a word I just left the room. For at
least two days I believe you were afraid I would
kick you out. What you didn't know was that was
when I realized you had grown up. It was the 1st
time you had done something against my wishes.
It wasn't too much later you came
to me and told me your best friend Pat had joined
the Army and he had talked with you about joining.
You asked me what I thought. I told you I did
not like the idea and until you could look me
in the eye and tell me you could shoot someone
I did not want you to enlist. Five months later
you came to me and said you could and you had
enlisted. That was the second time I knew you
had grown up.
You went in Nov. 1, 2000. You
were upset only because you knew it was close
to my birthday and you felt bad for not being
with me. The Army did you good. You walked proud
and had confidence that you never had before.
I went to pick you up from Ft. Leonard Wood for
the 1st time; you had to come up to me because
I did not recognize you. It could have been the
shaved head and the black glasses that I believe
you called BCG (birth control glasses). I remember
many conversations we had about the Army. The
only frustration you ever expressed was they moved
at their own pace and I believe that was slower
than yours. I called you my soldier. We had an
agreement you reported to me. I had explained
I paid more in taxes then you earned in a year
so you were my personal soldier. I told you to
tell your company commander that you only had
to take orders from me. You said you would but
you probably never did. I asked you if you wanted
me to call our senators and tell them the same
thing and you said no you would let those in charge
know. I offered to call the President; again you
laughed and declined by offer.
I remember the 1st time you told
me you had to go to Iraq. You made sure I was
sitting down. You were worried about me not about
yourself. I prayed that would change their mind
and they did. They rescinded your orders. You
came home for the holidays last year and you told
me you would be going over seas in Feb. or Mar.
I said no they would change their mind. In January
you told me again. I said no they would change
their mind. The same conversation in February
but then March they did not change their mind.
You shipped out. You called me before they put
you in lock down and said don't worry, you weren't
worried but you knew I would anyway. I told you
I was getting grayer each day and it was because
of you. Your reply was to stop worrying and to
color my hair.
Everyone at work knew when you
called and they asked about you constantly. The
office assistants knew to find me if you called
and I wasn't at my desk. Everyone knew how important
you were to me.
One day you found time to go shopping.
One day I received a call from a jewelry store.
I called you and asked what your were buying.
You told me a watch. I told you it must be an
expensive watch. You said it was. I asked you
what you were going to do with this watch and
you said give it to a friend. I asked you to let
me know if they liked it and you said you would.
A short time later I asked if your friend liked
the watch and you said yes she had kept it. You
were so happy Lisa said yes! That was to be the
next chapter of your life. First there was a year
in Iraq.
I remember the many conversations
we had when you called. Every one started out
Hi Momma and I would say hi sweetie what are you
doing. You'd always reply not much, just got back
from my patrol. You asked about every one of your
brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles,
grandparents and dad and step dad. You did not
want to talk about what was going on over there
only about what was happening here. You wanted
to stay in touch. Only when I asked would you
even mention anything about Iraq and then only
the good things. The kids and some friendly people
but never the dangers. Again you did not want
me to worry.
I was so glad when you got to
come home on leave. You were happy and content,
excited about the future. You went to see Coach
K and Mr. Strauss. You went to a cross-country
meet and to a football game. You got to see old
friends.
One day, while on leave you told
me you had something to tell me. I asked what
and you said you had reenlisted in June. I asked
you why and your reply "because I am good
at it". No other explanation was needed.
You were happy you and Lisa were getting married
July 2, 2005 and then off to Hawaii. But 1st,
6 more months in Iraq. You called me from the
airport to let me know you were getting ready
to board the plane. You sounded sad but you said
the time would go quickly. The 1st 6 months did
and so would the next 6 months. We ended our conversation
as we had ended all others. I told you I loved
you and you said I love you Momma. I told you
to be careful and you said you would. I also told
you I was proud of you. The rest is history.
I will miss your one dimple and
your beautiful brown eyes. I will even miss those
ugly tiger tattoos. If I could I would trade places
with you but I can't.
The outpouring of heartfelt gratitude
for your service has been amazing. Your company
commander Capt. Pintor called me last night from
Iraq. He said he had to talk with me and let me
know how the entire group was saddened by your
death. He especially wanted me to know that there
were two your men with you at the time of the
explosion. Brian Howard and Bentley Joseph. He
went on to explain these were two of your men
that you had trained from the beginning and because
of what you had trained them, they were able to
survive. He also went on to say that Joseph was
working on getting he American citizenship and
you were helping him reach that goal. He promised
that they would complete that mission for you.
The time has come to say good-bye.
Give pepaw a hug and kiss for me. I know you are
both telling stories. You will always be in my
heart but you are in God's hands now. You will
serve him well and he will protect you from now
on.
Love
Momma
|
